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"So anxiety and fear are part of my biggest life struggle now. What makes it difficult is I can get stuck and stressed if it's a decision with any moral component to it, because I need to do what's right. But many things can seem like they're moral issues. Do you have any insights? Thank you for the article, was good to read."
This was a question left for me on Facebook after reading the previous blog on anxiety and fear. I found his question insightful and thought many other people probably experience similar, if not the same, question. I decided to answer it here - with another blog. I realize this blog is quite long. But after reading and re-reading it, I believe including all these pieces is important. I pray it is helpful!
I began crafting an answer for this question with thoughts from my own, personal experience and application of Scripture. However, as I prayed about this response, I realized I needed to start in a different place, in the only place that really matters: with God and His Word. It is most important and powerful to allow Him to speak to us, and one of the ways He does that is through reading the Bible and meditating on it.
A few of the passages I want to read and pray through together are from the books of Psalm, Matthew, and James. Take time to read through each of the following passages of Scripture and allow God to speak to You through them. He can say, and does say, far more about them to You than anyone else ever could. Our God is constantly whispering to us. He longs for us to listen. But we must practice listening: getting quiet, still, and humble before Him. Asking Him to lead us, speak to us, transform us.
Let’s begin with prayer:
O Lord, our God, You are great. You are awesome, mighty, all-powerful, all-knowing. You hold the world in Your hands. Everything belongs to You. You know what we are going to think and say before a word crosses our minds, hearts, or mouths. Would You please speak to us as we read and meditate on Your Word today. Reveal Yourself to us, Holy Spirit. Show us Your Truth. Say what You will. May Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. We love You. Amen.
Let’s read through the following passages together (the emphasis is mine).
But I call to God,
and the LORD will save me.
Evening and morning at at noon
I utter my complaint and moan,
and he hears my voice.
He redeems my soul in safety
from the battle that I wage,
for many are arrayed against me.”
Psalm 55:16-18 (ESV)
Cast your burden on the LORD,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
the righteous to be moved…
But I trust in you.
Psalm 55:22, 23d (ESV)
When I am afraid,
I put my trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can flesh do to me?…
You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?
Then my enemies will turn back
in the day when I call.
This I know, that God is for me.
In God, whose word I praise,
in the LORD, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can man do to me?
I must perform my vows to you, O God;
I will render thank offerings to you.
For you have delivered my soul from death,
yes, my feet from falling.
that I may walk before God
in the light of life.
Psalm 56:3-4, 8-13 (ESV)
[Jesus said] “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.”
Matthew 7:7-8 (ESV)
If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.
James 1:5 (NLT)
In the passages above, I bolded all the times where God, LORD, or the person of God is referred to or His actions are inferred. I italicized the portions that specifically mention humanity: me, you, I and personal actions in relationship to God. Perhaps read back through these passages paying attention to what we do versus what God does.
God is the one sustaining, protecting, providing, and leading. He is the one counting, opening, revealing, delivering, hearing, redeeming.
We cast our burdens on Him, we praise Him and His Word, we trust in Him. Meaning, we lay everything at His feet, believing He is ultimately in control and will bring His good work to completion despite the decisions we make.
Over and over again we throw ourselves under His love, provision, and protection. We do not rely on our own ability to do anything well on our own. God provides our wisdom, discernment, discretion, protection, timing, and very breath. He puts us in the places and relationships He wants us to be in. And He does it all out of love for us and for His glory.
When it comes to actually making whatever moral decision weighs heavily before us, we seek first our God and His righteousness. We listen for His voice, read His Word, meditate on it, and talk to Him. We ask for His wisdom and trust He will speak to us, lead us, and give us the strength and power to do what He calls us to do.
God’s Word says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7, NIV. Emphasis mine.).
Do not be anxious about anything…means ANYTHING (it’s amazing to me that this is possible!). We are able to act and respond to any situation out of His peace when we take every situation to God in prayer. Prayer includes listening to God and talking to Him. Prayer isn’t simply us laying out everything we need before God. Though prayer does include that - and God’s Word says He hears our cries and counts our tears - prayer also includes listening for God’s voice and direction. It includes thanksgiving (or praise) despite our circumstances. It includes acknowledging that God is in control and we are not.
So, as we seek His heart and will, we listen, praise, and ask for His help. And then, as we sense Him laying things on our hearts, we obey. If He leads us to discuss the issue with someone else who is wise and discerning, we obey. If He asks us to wait and continue to seek His heart, we obey. If He tells us to do something uncomfortable, we obey. And, we are honest. Honest with ourselves and others in humility that we don’t always know what to do. And we apologize when we mess up.
Despite what decisions we choose: right, wrong, selfish, selfless, intentional, or subconscious, we can trust that God will work all things together for good and His glory.
How we make decisions reveals how we trust Him. Do we trust God to be Who He says He is? Who His Word says He is? If our decisions begin with trusting the Creator Who sustains us, Who is sovereign, Who has all authority, Who provides what we need, listens to our cries, and gives generously without finding fault or extending rebuke, then we can trust that He will speak to us and lead us into right decisions.
Our God is a good God who says to ask and it will be given to us. When our hearts’ desire is truly God - to love Him, obey Him, and serve Him; when He is the treasure we seek after; when our hearts are postured toward Him in a desire to please Him: He knows it. He will not hide Himself from us. He wants to reveal Himself to us, to lead us in the way of life everlasting. Which includes making decisions that honor Him.
If our decisions begin with ourselves: in our ability to come up with all the variables, reliance on our circumstances or outside information, or with being “perfectly” self-aware and others-aware, we will start in the wrong place. We may end up making the right decision but our efforts began in our own power, the information of the world around us, etc…..rather than beginning with God. His love. His heart. His relationship with us.
A desire to arrive at “the best answer” or “the right answer” is not a bad desire. It comes from a good place. But our firm Foundation must begin with The Answer: God Himself. Our Rock. Our Fortress. Our God, in whom we praise. In God we trust, we shall not be afraid. Even afraid of making the “right” decision and avoiding the “wrong” one. And when we do feel afraid: we put our trust in Him. Out of Him will flow all the information we need to make a wise, God-fearing decision.
Hear me, I’m not talking about making all decisions in isolation. What I am talking about is beginning in the secure place of trust in God: acknowledging that He is all, knows all, is the Great Counselor, the Author of Life, and the provider of everything we need. He very well may lead us to other people and resources. In fact, God’s Word talks about seeking wise counsel. Making decisions in wise community is important. But, He will show You where and when to seek wise counsel and which resources to access.
The litmus test in my spirit before I speak with anyone or make a decision is:
If I am not at peace, I don’t do anything. I wait.
When I say peace I don’t mean I feel peace. Sometimes I feel peace as an emotion. But, ultimately the peace I am referring to is a deep knowing that “This is what I am supposed to do. No matter what happens everything will be okay because God is in control.” Even if it hurts. Even if it’s hard or uncomfortable. Even if it doesn’t make logical sense. Even if it means surrendering something I hold dear.
All of the “unknowns” can get to me. I can feel overwhelmed and cornered by the demands of life, desires to make the right decisions, to not mess up my children’s futures, to not hurt those around me. I desperately desire to please God. I love Him and want to obey His voice. But sometimes, I am still going to get it wrong. Even then, His love and grace abounds. And I throw myself on His mercies once again.
Thomas Merton wrote "A Prayer of Unknowing" that captures all of this beautifully. I love it and believe our desire to please God does, in fact, please Him. May we look less at ourselves, the world around us, and the waves of anxiety as we fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. He is perfect, so we don't have to be. He perfects faith in us. He holds everything in His hands: including us as we make each decision.
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone. Amen.
– Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude, page 79.
**Resources: If you are interested in more on learning to hear the voice of God, Priscilla Shirer has a book called "Discerning the Voice of God" that I recommend.**
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