Obedience. Stillness. Work.

I have been learning a lot about obedience the last few months. Obedience is tied to listening - listening to the voice of God. They cannot be disconnected. To obey God, we have to be listening to His voice. To listen to His voice, I have to spend time being silent. Silence is hard. Not just verbal silence (though that is difficult, too), but internal silence. Learning to silence the inner voices, the fog of noises, the distractions, the to-do lists. Learning to silence my own voice, the fleshly desires, the nagging idols that want my time, attention, and affection. This silence must first take place in stillness and centering before the God of the universe. Only then can I learn to walk in silence, to move in silence, to work in silence and centering in His presence. This surrender and focus on the King can continue when my eyes open, my body starts moving, and the tasks of the day begin. 

But first.

First. 

I must practice stopping, stillness, quiet. First I must look to my King and ask Him to keep me focused and feasting on Him today. In each moment. Moment by moment I must die to myself, deny myself, pick up my cross and follow Jesus. But this dying to myself, to my flesh, is hard. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. To stare these nagging desires in the face and tell them not only to take a seat, but to die, feels like I am killing a part of myself. In a sense, I guess, I am. I am killing parts of me that want to surrender to counterfeits of the One Who truly fills. 

It is strange to me that I often return to idols - to things that only steal, kill, and destroy. To things that only temporarily fill me, only to leave me emptier than I was before. The next time it takes more, or more often, to fill me up the same amount. In the same way that our bodies become accustomed to the amount of medicine we take, and our dosage has to increase to produce the desired affect. In the same way that it takes more and more alcohol to create the desired feeling of release. These idols in my life of food, snacking, purchasing, accomplishing, gaining, controlling only grow in their demands and decrease the satisfaction they offer. 

In order to surrender these idols, in order to kill them so I can pick up my cross and follow Jesus, I have to allow God to speak, to work, to move. I have to choose to give Him room to not only point out what has taken root in my life, but also to remove these roots. And though He does the transforming work, I have to choose to work with Him. Jesus says: 

“Come to me you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I wrote on this passage awhile ago. Over the last several months, this passage has been teaching me about unburdening myself to Jesus and allow Him to give me rest. However, the kind of rest I was focusing on looked a lot like stillness and peace. (Though it is peace and can be stillness - I do not believe it is only stillness in our bodies. It can be a stillness, or a surrendered peace, of our minds.) But Jesus calls us to yoke ourselves to Him. Work is assumed simply within the phrase. Historically, oxen were not yoked together to rest. Oxen are yoked together to do work - and hard work. Tilling ground is difficult: there are rocks to be moved, deeply rooted weeds and grasses to churn, and tough and weathered soil to soften enough to plant seed. 

Sweat. 

Sore muscles. 

Tiredness. 

All of these things would have ensued - and a physical stillness and rest would be needed. However, work is done. Hard work is done.

Our God can and will do transforming work, but He doesn’t pull us through the field, demanding we till up the ground. He invites us to come to Him, to yoke ourselves to Him, to unburden, and to work alongside Him. As He speaks, we must listen. As He speaks, we must move and obey. As we listen and obey, there is room for Him to work, to uproot, to gently direct, to humbly point out rocks and steadfastly remove them while instilling His love, work ethic, and rest in us. 

Equal in importance to picturing myself working with and next to Jesus is the reminder that I don’t work on my own. Often in my life I have tried to push and pull the plow on my own. I become weary, burdened, frustrated, self-focused, demanding, defensive, and judgmental. This work wasn’t meant to be done alone. This work wasn’t meant to be done just by humans. This work can only be done by our God - the One who came to rescue us in His perfect love and grace. All I can do is join Him in what He has already done. 

That. That is enough. Because my God is enough.

When I allow Jesus to yoke me to Himself, when I grab the plow next to Him, I don’t have room in my hands to hold on to anything else but Him: the Vinedresser, the Gardener, the Plower, the Plow, the Planter, the Waterer, the Harvester. Idols will be overturned. Selfishness will be uprooted. Surrender will ensue. But this work will be for the entirety of my life on this earth. This work will be for the entirety of your life on this earth. Transformation takes time.

And even in the midst of transformation, there will be times when we let go of the Plow and try to replant an idol - to replace a rock we knew needed to go, but we want the feeling of its uncomfortable comfort. There will be times when we try to steer the plow our own direction. There will be times when we forget to allow Jesus to take our burdens and we try to bear them on our own.

May we not grow weary or discouraged. May we not be dismayed. For our God is good, He is love, He is constant, and He will gently and humbly guide us back to Him. 

Today, may we set our hands to the Plow next to our Savior. May we allow Him to guide each moment. May we practice stillness in His presence, even in the work. May we listen for His voice and obey His leading as we surrender to His Holy Spirit. May we give Him the ability to do whatever it is He wants to do - because though it may hurt, it will be the best of Life. The fullness of Life - filling ourselves with the Daily Bread and Living Water.