Welcome!

Hey There   

Before I begin relaying different thoughts, experiences, and content with whoever happens to find their way here, I first want to introduce myself: the one who sits on the other side of the screen...relaying things to you.

First and foremost, I am:

a child of God, 

a Jesus follower, 

the Bride of Christ.

One of the foundational things I want you to know about me is who I really am: where my identity truly comes from. 

For many, many years when asked “Who are you?” I would produce numerous facts about my roles in life, the titles I possessed, the things I liked to do, or what I aspired to. Although these things were a part of my life and important to me, they did not define me. It’s not bad or wrong to allow these things to connect themselves to me - they are a part of my story, passions written into me. However, for the majority of my life, I looked for my identity in things, what people thought of me, how I fulfilled (or failed) expectations, and how acceptable I was (or felt I was) to others, myself, and God.

But all of that was based on me: my performance, my perfection, my preferences. And when anything is based in me or out of me, I will come up wanting. (…more on this another time)

So, I have been working on vocabulary changes. One of them being: the “I am…” statements I make will be based in and out of the love, grace, and consistency of God: the One who made me and calls me His own. The Great I AM.  

The Truth is: I am only defined by who and what God calls me.  However, in His goodness He has also called me into roles in His Kingdom that give me great pleasure. Three of these roles are Wife, Momma, and Pastor:

I have been married to Shaphan for almost 10 years. He is an incredible, loyal, gentle, and fun husband and father. He has been steadfast in his love for God and for our family in ways that have helped ground me in turbulent times. (I am forever grateful for you, my love.)

Shaphan and I have been given two of the most amazing, energetic, joyful children: Athaleyah (2 years) and Hagen (5 months). They are both unlike anything I could have dreamed up on my own. All their little characteristics and personality traits mesh together to create these incredible little humans that I (still) can’t believe are mine to shepherd. Man…I adore them (even when sleep is rare. Am I right?).

Currently, I have a duel role at Impact Church in West Michigan as a part-time KidZone Pastor and part-time Assistant Pastor of Spiritual Engagement. I have fallen in love with this duel pastorship: on the weekends I work with kiddos and during the week I operate as a first-touch-point for those who would like to meet with a pastor. The sacred spaces I am allowed to enter into with people blow me away. I love how the Holy Spirit meets me in each of these moments: telling me how to be present, what to say, and how to connect these individuals to other resources.

The Why Behind R + F

I wanted to let you in on why I titled this blog “Relax + Feast.” There are numerous experiences and details that I could share about how relaxing and feasting have become pursuits of holiness for me. But, what it boils down to is: I lived with a legalistic mindset marked by perfectionism, performance, and earthly treasures. I would endlessly fight for more: to be more, do more, have more. In fact, I would work tirelessly in all avenues of life in order to “hurry up so I can rest.” Then, in my resting I would often find myself contemplating and calculating my next moves (or analyzing my past ones). I would feast on things that made me sick, things that don’t truly fill or fulfill me. God has been guiding me into new places, carving new paths where I know I will find greater freedom and a fuller life "in the fullness of Christ who fills all in all" (Ephesians 1:23). 

This newness takes place at His Table. He invites the weary to come. He promises to restore my soul. In His presence I am not only able to rest, but I can also relax.

I can let the tension out of my shoulders. 

I can unburden. 

I can breathe. 

And I can feast on my Daily Bread and Living Water…on my Jesus. 

You’re invited, too. Come. Come rest. Come relax. Come feast.

Ahead 

Throughout these blog posts I will invite you into other parts of my story: weaknesses, struggles, strengths, desires, and dreams. You will soon discover things I have battled (or still battle) like perfectionism, control, eating disorders, and depression (to name a few). I pray that as we delve into these areas together, that you will discover the same Hope I have found. This Hope is constant, even in trial and pain. I pray we discover the new pathways God wants to lead us on and that we walk into them courageously - even when the unknown makes our knees knock together. May we be encouraged that God promises to “make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert” (Isaiah 43:19); that He promises to be with us in the valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23).

So, here is to today. Here is to all the places we have been, the well-worn roads we have traveled. Here is to the new things God is doing and wants to do through our stories - in spite of us and for His glory. Here is to the pursuit of holiness.

Welcome. 

Let’s relax and feast.